Caui

This ain’t no ordinary love poem
I’m not gonna stand here and proclaim a bunch of corny
‘how do I love thee, let me count the ways’ romanticism dribble
I’m not gonna do it
I’m not gonna say
anything
peppered with a bunch of trite cliques

this ain’t no ordinary love
just by virtue of the fact that we are
LESBIANS!
there! I said it
so forget it
all the nonsense
never mind all the bullshit
forget all the doubters
and fuck all the haters who never thought this would last
each and every one of them can kiss my
as - of this reading we’ve been together for more than 3740 days

this ain’t no ordinary love poem - spilling out of me
as I lay
next to you in our over crowded bedroom in the
4th apartment that we’ve shared - together
since our long distance romance    
lovingly transcended into going the distance
something we choose to do everyday

a special thing
others could never quite fathom- how I
hear our song in my head
do you hear it?
do you hear it?
do you hear it?

It always begins the same
With 2 thick beats
that proceed the crime drama we regularly watch on TNT

it’s all good baby - ‘cause we just fit like that - a tributists’ dream
we go together
like
cake and ice cream

like
peanut butter and jelly
bagels and cream cheese
debt and poverty
wounded friends and Dick Cheney
riches and luxury
rainbow flags and pride parades
butches and femmes
butt plugs and booties
smoked turkey and collard greens
ham hocks and black eyed peas
Condoleza Rice and bad hair days
or
candy and cavities
organisms and, and, and, and screeeeeeeeeeeeams
clits and tongues
pens and poetry
like summer time and hanging out at the park
rolling joints and playing handball after dark
like
nothing anyone has ever experienced
nothing you’ve ever seen

‘Cause this
ain’t no ordinary love
and I know you ain’t into playin’ games
but baby I’m so happy that you are and always will be
my Toii

I wish the pain would numb
And my heart and soul would just move on.
But they’re determined to drown in misery it seems,
They’re in love with a dream.
They’ve wished and wished,
To be caught in bliss.
But dreams never come true,
And this i know,
Because of all the dreams I’ve ever known,
Have been ripped from my heart,
Am i supposed to live a dreamless life,
Without the love i yearn for?
I see no purpose in living it.
And i don’t really give a sh*t,
About anyone but him.((the reason of my pain))
And I don’t understand why
I’ve cried over and,
Over, over him.
Yet i still love him.
My heart is his
And there’s nothing i can do about it.
I’ve tried and tried,
To just forget him.
But i can’t…
There’s no end to this circle…
I’ve tried living with the pain…
I’ve tried ignoring it…
I’ve tried cutting through it…
I’ve tried moving on…
I’ve tried EVERYTHING,
To stop my heart and soul…
Nothing works..
Why do i have to feel this way???
Is this punishment for some sin I’ve committed,
Along the way.
Something completely unforgivable…
Something that condemns me to be denied happiness…
Denied the only thing i’ve ever wanted…love??
I beg the pain to be taken away…
But i guess you can’t take something you were born with away…

Is it so forbidden
to want to sit under the stars
with you?To want to listen to your voice
and figure out what’s true?
Is it so forbidden
to hope and dream and pray?
To think about the future,
to wonder everyday?
Is it so forbidden
to think you wouldn’t mind?
Mind me sitting there for hours,
just gazing into your eyes?
Is it so forbidden,
to know it could be true?
To wonder if Love could make us one,
instead of being two?
Is it so forbidden
to want to see you everyday?
Perhaps it’s more forbidden,
not knowing you feel the same way.